hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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