I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
