have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
