so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
