haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
cat food counts as protein by the way
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
