the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
