Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize