I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
