Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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