I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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