he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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