I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
