The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
