Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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