If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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