How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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