No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
