my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
