forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
