I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize