i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
