I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
