she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
