never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
