cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize