You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
