I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize