two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
