its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
