Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
