He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
