id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
