How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
