She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
