It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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