I just threw up on my dentist
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
