your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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