i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
