There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize