Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
