I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
