Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
