please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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