Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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