your parents love me but you hate me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
