Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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