hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
