I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
