Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
