found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
