I just made out with a guy for $7.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
