He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
