Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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