Non-Jews are for practice
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
