4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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