he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
