hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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