I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize