ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
