It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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