I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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