Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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